love languages

Love Languages in the Family

Living as a family requires constantly learning and changing. This includes the languages of love. It is not enough for you to love your spouse, your children, and the people around you. It is necessary to develop the habit of communicating your love with intelligence and constancy.

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Communicating Love with Intelligence and Constancy

I am grateful to God for the opportunity to get to know Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages since the beginning of our marriage. That was my first reading with Rapha. And how we learned from this book! We did not believe, at first, in some statistics that the author cites, for example, that the passion ends in a few months or years. But after our period of passion finishes, we understood that its end starts the beautiful commitment of true love between a couple.

Family life, both in terms of marriage and in the relationship between parents and children, is not like a vacation trip. It is more like the routine of your work. Even if you do not enjoy routine, it is thanks to it that your heart continues to work, your lungs do not get tired of renewing your breath, and your family achieves success. Here, then, are the top 5 ways to express your love steadily and intelligently to your family:

1. Words of Affirmation

There are people who perceive love through praise and words of encouragement. This is not my case, that is, someone saying to me that they love me does not mean much to me. I want proof in addition to words. Consequently, I don’t usually say to people that I love them, even if that is true. But if this is the language of your loved ones, hearing that they are important, that they are valuable, and that they will achieve it is essential. That is why we need to grow in the ability to express love through sincere and graceful words.

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

1Tm 4:12

2. Quality time

Other people need someone to give them attention and spend time with them to receive love. Sitting on the couch with this person, listening to their stories carefully, and simply staying together makes a big difference.

A friend loves at all times and a brother is always there to help at the bad times.

Proverbs 17:17

3. Gifts

For some people, gifts are the best way to express love. In fact, you can give something without loving a person, but it is impossible to love without giving away your life, your time, and also your money. The apostle John expresses the manifestation of God’s love by the fact that He gave his Son to be reconciled with humanity. Giving gifts is very good, even better than receiving them. This includes thinking about the loved one, planning, investing, and seeing their joy. It doesn’t matter the price of the gift. More than the object itself, this person values the intention of your heart. What gift could you prepare for your loved one in the coming days?

God loved the people in the world so much that he gave his one and only Son on their behalf. So, as a result, everyone who believes in the Son will not die. Instead, they will live for ever with God.

John 3:16

4. Acts of Service

For those who value being served by others or having their help to perform tasks, the love language is service. In fact, we all enjoy being served. In the context of the family, this is natural. We are dependent on each other because we share the same home. And one of the healthiest habits we can cultivate is to serve our spouse and children daily. Jesus taught that the way to greatness is to become a servant.

It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Matthew 20:26-28

5. Physical Touch

Certain people feel loved through physical touch, like a hug and a kiss. It’s really hard for you to love a person and not touch them. We hug our children and kiss them as if to say: you are mine! Among a couple, sexuality is a sign of honor. Notice how the laying on of hands is highlighted in the Scriptures that report that God Himself formed man and woman with his hands (Job 10: 8; Gen 2: 7-22; Ps 119: 73). Touch is something desired by the human being because it reminds us of our Creator.

Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her.

Proverbs 4:8


This short post is an invitation for you to identify the practical ways in which your family members receive love effectively. Generally, the way your spouse feels loved is different from how you feel loved. And it can be different with each of your children as well. So, dedicate yourself to discover your love languages and you will be able to show affection in the best possible way to your family.

Prayer: God, thank you so much for your love for me. I also want to love my family as you love me. So I ask you to help me discover how to communicate love so that my spouse and children will be blessed and have no doubt how much I love them, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

What is the Holy Spirit saying to you?
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“I will bless those people who bless you. But I will curse anyone who insults you.
Through you, I will bless all the families of people on the earth.” Genesis 12:3







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