True romance is a gift from God. So we need to cultivate moments of joy for our relationship as a couple, after all, bad news arrives even if we are not invited. With that in mind, why not prepare something special for Valentine’s Day that is coming in a few days?
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Valentine’s Day and Marriage
Romance is the theme of Valentine’s Day, celebrated in America on February 14th. This is certainly a beautiful date to invest in your relationship with your spouse. Gifts, candies, and flowers are a great combination to express love and affection.
But nothing better than dedicating quality time to invest in the relationship with your spouse. Even if you are still dating, use this date to get to know each other better and talk about important issues for the future. It was with this in mind that we prepared a Q&A for you to reflect on together. Also, consider listening to the new series on marriage that we released this week on the Família & Fé Podcast (in Portuguese).
If you are one of those who do not like to copy customs from other cultures or criticize the pagan history associated with that date, know that you can take advantage of it. Take the opportunity to give thanks to God for the loved one he has brought to you and invest in this precious relationship.
In Brazil, Valentine’s Day is celebrated on June 12 and is associated with the Catholic holiday of Santo Antônio. Considered the “marriage saint”, his day is celebrated on June 13. For this reason, women traditionally offered sympathy on the eve of the date to get the idol’s attention in search of a boyfriend or husband.
In the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Australia, among many other countries, Valentine’s Day is celebrated on February 14th. It emerged as a date to celebrate the romance and expanded to express affection also to family and friends, including in schools. In the Philippines, it is the most common wedding anniversary date, and it is not uncommon for hundreds of wedding parties to take place on that day.
So, let’s go to some of the questions we have to share with you to provoke a good conversation in the coming days and warm up the atmosphere of romance until the night of February 14th. We are sure that you will be inspired to prepare something very special to celebrate this date together as a landmark of love and blessing for your relationship.
Romance: True or False?
And to make the conversation easier, let’s start our Valentine’s Day preparation with a series of True or False. We suggest some biblical references for you to read together, discuss and also pray about each of these issues.
T or F: You can be happier without your marriage.
God said it is not good for man to be alone. So he decided to raise the woman to help him and be a life partner. For those who are still single, it is obvious that a partner does well. But remember that the context of the wedding is fundamental for you to enjoy together the romance that God has prepared for you. And for the married, the wise Solomon said: Rejoice with the wife of your youth. Don’t make the mistake that one of 40 can be exchanged for two of 20. False.
See Gen 2:18 and Pv 5:18
T or F: Conflict is a sign that your marriage is in trouble
Conflict can mean different levels of friction in a relationship. It is usually good and important when it comes to diverging ideas. God created man and woman differently, and that’s a good thing. Consequently, there are disagreements, different perceptions, discussions, and even confusion in every relationship. Conflict is necessary for mutual knowledge and the growth of both. So the couple must learn to respect each other and also make decisions together and in peace. Don’t look at conflict as a problem. False.
See 1Co 13:4-7 / Cl 3:18-19
T or F: God walked with Adam before Adam met Eve.
On the sixth day, God created Adam and put him in the garden of Eden to cultivate him. He spoke to the man, told him not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, allowed him to name the animals, and observed his loneliness. It was shortly after that the Lord formed Eve and brought her to Adam. The priority in marriage is the relationship of men and women with God. In this sense, one must help the other daily. True.
See Gen 2:15-18
T or F: Hardness of heart is the kiss of death for marriage.
Solomon compiled dozens of pieces of advice for a wise and prosperous life. He stressed the importance of keeping the heart because from it flows his whole life. If you allow heartaches to build up, the result is a root of bitterness penetrating your heart. Always watch and pray for a sincere, humble, and flexible heart. After all, a still heart does not mean life, but death. Yes, the hardness of heart leads to the death of romance. True.
See Pr 4:23 / Pr 28:14 / Mt 12:34 / Heb 12:15
T or F: If the couple sleeps, they will invite the devil to take a place among them.
One day when Rapha and I were getting ready for the wedding, we had the opportunity to go to the home of our beloved pastor José Eugênio. Of the words we shared, one especially stayed in our memories. He told us that we should never lie down to sleep while fighting or the devil would lie between us in bed. Years passed and, while we talked with a couple of friends, they mentioned the same line.
Although funny – and strong, it reflects well what the Word of God teaches us. Ephesians 4: 26-27 says not to let the sun go down on our anger, as that would give the devil an opportunity. And the term opportunity is the Greek topon, which was used to mean sheath, that place to keep a knife or machete. That is, prolonged anger is the space in which the devil stands for destruction. True.
See Ps 4:4 / Ec 7:9 / Eph 4:26-27
T or F: Divorce is a word that should be deleted from the couple’s dictionary.
The Bible says that God hates divorce. So we need to avoid even mentioning that term. And when it comes to a conversation between the couple, yes, that term should not be used. True.
See Mal 2:16
T or F: Whoever wants to love life and see happy days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from falsehood.
We have already seen that everything starts in the human heart. And from the heart the mouth speaks, as Jesus said. And he who likes to talk a lot ends up sinning. You need to watch with his words. We have consistently shared that this is a value for our family. You will not regret hearing more and speaking less. By taking better care of your speech, your whole life – well the people around you – will benefit greatly. True.
See Ps 34:12-14 / 1Pe 3:10
T or F: A couple plans to fail when they fail to plan their finances.
Finance then among the top 3 reasons for serious problems in weddings. And this is usually not due to the couple’s needs, but rather to their untimely desires. In this sense, good financial planning is essential for a successful marriage. When you plan your budget well, you will both be able to honor your commitments and satisfy your wishes in the appropriate time and manner. But if this planning fails automatically, the failure plan is in progress. True.
See Mt 6:24 / Pr 6:1-8 / Pr 16:3 / 2Co 9:7 / 1 Tim 6:10-18
T or F: If you have a good idea of how much money you need for each month you are on the right track. A written budget is not necessary for financial management.
A budget is a plan or part of a financial plan. It identifies the expected values for revenue (inflows) and expenses (outflows) in the near future. Thus, a simple budget helps a lot in the organization and control of finances. But it is amazing how few families have a written budget. As a plan, the budget needs to be written. If you think you will have peace by controlling your money only in your mind, you are wrong. False.
See Mt 6:24 / Ps 37:21 / Pr 22:27 / Pr 27: 23-24 / Ec 11: 2 / Heb 2: 1-3
T or F: Keeping the Sabbath is good practice if you have any time left on the couple’s agenda, but the Sabbath was made for Israel only, not for everyone.
The practice of rest is presented in the Bible before the institution of family and marriage, at the beginning of chapter 2 of Genesis. In the same way, that marriage was instituted in innocence and should be valued in the family, so is weekly rest. In fact, both are fundamental to the preservation of life, both individually and collectively. This is not a suggestion but an ordinance for the man to rest after six days of completed work.
Jesus reaffirmed this principle for all mankind as we read in Mark 2: 27-28. So it is a great mistake to consider the weekly rest day an exclusive practice for the people of Israel. As soon as God rested, he ordered the man to do the same. At that time, Israel did not yet exist as a people. There was no Mosaic law, which would remember this principle in the future (Exodus 20: 8-11). Adam and Eve were not Israelites. Therefore, the Sabbath was not made for Israel alone, but all mankind. False.
See Gen 2:1-3 / Isa 58:13-14 / Mark 2:27-28 / Col 2:16
What are the 3 main causes of problems in marriage?
Communication, Finance, and Sexuality. Pay attention to these topics. Study, grow and improve in each of these areas. You will enjoy overflowing blessings that you can share with others around you. We have been constantly addressing these topics in the Família & Fé Podcast (in Portuguese).
What better attitude when the couple needs to make a decision but is not in agreement?
Every decision a couple has to make together and in peace. The sooner you learn this the more suffering will be avoided. For that, talking is essential, and a little prayer is added to the dialogue. I know this idea is simple and it seems easy, but it has been neglected by many couples who consequently suffer losses and great wear and tear in their relationship. Take time to talk and pray with your spouse. This is the path to assertive decisions.
See Am 3:3 / 1Co 1:10 / 1Pe 3:1-7
What is the best relationship between the seasons of life (spring, summer, autumn, winter) with the following contexts experienced by the couple:
Losses and Renewal: Autumn
Focus on Work, Produce, Care to stay hydrated: Summer
New Relationships, Maturity and Beware of news: Spring
Rest and Wait: Winter
Life is made up of cycles and seasons. Notice that Moses, a very wise man, prayed that the Lord would give him wisdom as the seasons passed. Pay attention to this cycle and you will enjoy insight, hope, and success in your marriage.
See Ps 90:12 / Pr 6:6-11
Valentine’s Day is coming on February 14th and you can’t let this special date go by without taking advantage of it. Our prayer is that this post will be an inspiration for you to invest in your relationship as a couple. Enjoy this Valentine’s Day because romance is in the air.
Prayer: God, thank you so much for your eternal love and for the loved person you presented me with. I pray for wisdom that my marriage will be healthy and glorify your name in Christ Jesus. Amen.
What is the Holy Spirit saying to you?
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“I will bless those people who bless you. But I will curse anyone who insults you.
Through you, I will bless all the families of people on the earth.” Genesis 12:3