Relationship Status: How to Avoid a Halter?

After the scandal involving soccer player Neymar Jr and model Najila, I decided to write about what many single friends ask me. How to avoid a halter in the relationship? How to find the ideal husband or wife? Meditate on this post and leave your comment below.

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The world press reported this week the case between soccer player Neymar Jr and model Najila. She accuses him of rape while he defends himself by claiming a consensual relationship. This is just one of many similar cases involving celebrities.

But this stress after a friendship turns into an ill-resolved romance has been crisis in the lives of many we also know closely. The consequences range from financial loss and shame to the extreme of hopelessness and sometimes suicide attempts.

Since before

The Bible says that when God created man, he realized that it would not be good for him to be alone. So he set about preparing a companion to assist him and form a family from which all mankind came into existence. The idea was a partnership for a more enjoyable and successful life. Why, then, did the relationship between man and woman creep into such complicated situations?

Since the great majority of problems in the relationship between men and women have been related to sexual matters. Money and communication difficulties accompany this cause. But there is a prominence for sexuality because in this case what is at stake is the very body of the person involved.

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
Apostle Paul, 1Co 6:18

When Paul wrote on this subject, he went on to say that it would be good if the man did not touch a woman. It is obvious that he is not discouraging the relationship between the two, but it prompts them for the purpose of blessing one another rather than just seeking selfish satisfaction.

An interesting question is why did not Jesus get married? What would be your answer to that question? He has always been accompanied by women in ministering to crowds or even meeting individually with a Samaritan woman. But we can draw some conclusions from the fact that Jesus did not have a woman as his wife.

The perfect woman

First, recognize that there is no perfect woman. Who is the best woman of all in the Bible? Exactly. That one presented in the last chapter of Proverbs. Now notice that she is called a virtuous woman, not a perfect woman. And probably this ideal woman was imaginary rather than real.

Proverbs 31:10

Solomon wanted to know who would find her! It seems that he in all his wealth and wisdom had not yet met a woman like that. The original text is a Hebrew poem written in the form of an acrostic, which reinforces the understanding that it is an imaginary and ideal woman.

The perfect man

Secondly, remember there is no perfect man other than Jesus. Men have their own crises, ambitions, and often the desire to find a woman to be their partner for life. And in this quest many men have been mistaken in thinking that this relationship can be obtained inexpensively or even at any cost.

In fact, the relationship that man needs to complete himself and fulfill his purpose of life can only be given by God. When Adam lived alone, even though he was in innocence and full communion with the Creator, God brought him Eve. This relationship that makes full the human experience is a gift that only God can give to man.

That was my motivation in choosing my wife, being able to live God’s plans for my life. I waited for what seemed to be a long time, and today I only thank God for the marriage we enjoy for more than ten years. Trust and see that God is good!

Relationship and Values

These days a friend asked me a question. He wanted to know if I completely accepted Rapha, his way of thinking, his habits, and his dreams. Well, first of all, yes, of course. I love her and am truly grateful to God for the gift she is in my life. But that includes a process of change for both of us.

I’ve changed a lot since the first day I met Rapha. My way of talking, of dressing, of arranging my hair, etc. Even my writing has changed since I started writing letters to her. Some things changed at her request, others by my own realization that she deserved something better.

And she also adjusted her way of being very much to what combines us most. I remember when she ran all excited to hug a friend on the street. Since then her way of greeting other people has become more modest, as I suggested to her. But many other habits, she simply improved without my opinion to influence directly.

This defines a healthy relationship: whatever is needed is adjusted to a more enjoyable fellowship. How beautiful! Selfishness gave way to true love. As in a symphony, the sum results in something more beautiful.

When it comes to a couple, everything can be different except their values. In this sense accepting differences and adjusting beliefs is possible through the path of healthy communication.

If you yourself do not mind evaluating that person’s beliefs, how do you expect a good result for that relationship? And in that sense the Bible is worth gold. Everything there is only for your good. No off-season custom is found there. Every detail is a good father’s eternal love letter to you.

When premarital sex is condemned, for example, it has a noble purpose. If a person accepts this intimacy with you before the wedding, why not accept with another after the marriage? In the same way, a person who does not honor their parents, how will them honor you, your children, and the name of your family? The one who lies and regards it as normal, why will not them deceive you whenever he has the opportunity?

Successful relationship

I’m not saying that you should wait for the perfect person for a relationship, even because it does not exist. The problem of many is to overanalyze everything. Do not fall for that mistake. Get to know the Word of God and consider what it guides you to a life of fear of the Lord if you want a successful relationship.

Marriage is to be honoured by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
Hebrews 13:4

My conclusion is that to find an excellent woman you need to be an excellent man. To find a man who is a great husband, you have to be a great wife. Do not tolerate any kind of immorality, especially in your sexuality. Embrace the principles of the Word of God and He will give you a precious relationship that will be a gift for all of life.

Prayer: God, I thank you for your kindness and steadfast love. I ask You to help me adjust my values to yours. Help me find the ideal person to build a successful family together. I trust in You and thank You in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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